


Five Revanasi Firsts

by TheRevanchist (LadyoftheNight)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, I was planning to do smut then it was fluff, and angst don't forget the angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-14 03:01:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1250302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyoftheNight/pseuds/TheRevanchist





	Five Revanasi Firsts

1\. _First Failure_

The first time they fight together after the reveal of her true identity seems almost natural.  Nothing really changes about her style of wielding her lightsabers, and for sure nothing has changed in the way he shoots a blaster.

But there is a change, and at first Carth can't place what it is.  It takes a few minutes, but then he realizes what's happened.

She's putting herself in front of her companions more, forcing the enemy to go through her first.  Of course, no enemy is actually successful in doing that.  Even before they knew who she really was, she was formidable with her dual lightsabers.  Now there's more confidence, as if knowing she is actually the never before defeated former Dark Lord of the Sith and previous Jedi hero makes her realize her true skill.  All sense of the timid Padawan's skills are gone, and every stroke is full of power.

But she's not the only one with something different.  He's grown wary of her in a way he wished he wouldn't be.  The feelings he had for her were strong, but right now he couldn't decide if they were love or hate.  Love for who she had become, or hate for who she had been.  It confused him, but there was still a sense that he had to protect her.  When he watched her back while she sliced into a door anymore, he'd spend half the time waiting to kill anyone who tried anything, and the other half wondering if he should put a bolt in the back of her head.

All of this was reflected in the way he fought with her.

It was only halfway through the Sith base on Manaan that this newfound hesitation got them in trouble.

 

They were forced to find a small storage room, where Carth watched the door and Jolee knelt by Revan.

"It's fine."

"Now you listen to me, kid.  You can't even move your arm, and I'll be the first to tell you that you don't want to lose the ability to move your right arm entirely.  If Carth can manage to watch the door properly, then I'll get you patched up and we can go back to killing."

She was silent as Jolee used a combination of Force and kolto on her wounded shoulder.

Carth couldn't bring himself to look at either of them.  They were both Jedi.  They knew it had been his fault she was currently sitting on the floor, wincing with pain as the old man healed her.

 

2\. _First Trust_

The first time he looks at her with no mixed feelings is when she manages to find Sunry innocent.  She didn't like the old soldier, he could tell.  Neither did he, to be honest, but he wouldn't show any disrespect to an old Republic hero.  

But there was no sense of this dislike throughout the trial, only a woman defending a man's life.  And in the end, when she won, admiration filled him.  There was no trace of the hate he'd been trying to harbor, and he let it show.  

"I knew you wouldn't let the Republic down."

The look she gave him was one of pure confusion.  Over the past week or so, he hadn't been able to speak to her for very long, and even then the conversations had been stiff and formal.  There was no appearance of the tenderness that had been there before the reveal on the Leviathan. 

"I did it to save his life."

"That's...good."  The weight in that one word was obvious to both of them, and a smile crossed her face for the first time since meeting Malak.

"I try."

"I know."

 

3\.   _First Midnight_

The first time he asks her forgiveness as Revan is not much longer after that.  

He found her huddling in the cargo hold, cuddling with a few of the gizka and a bottle of Tarisian Ale.  Two empty bottles are being played with by some of the other infernal animals she finds so precious.

Her face is red and tear streaked, but she has moved beyond whatever her sorrow was and is currently talking to a gizka about how much she misses Bastila.

That is the first time he hears that she can feel the other woman's pain.

Carefully, he pulls the bottle out of her hand, only to find it already empty.  He sighs and brushes away the gizka, much to her dismay.

"Those are my friends.  Bring them back."  Tears well up in her eyes again, but he shakes his head.

"You've got other friends."

"Who?  You?"  The tears start falling now, and he doesn't know what to do other than pull her close and let her rest her head on his shoulder as she sobs it out.

"I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry," He whispers as he strokes her long dark hair.

 

4\. _First Kiss_

Their first kiss is on a beautiful beach, somewhere a lot of beings would dream to have a first kiss.  Unfortunately, they're also surrounded by all their friends.  Fourteen year old Mission covers Zaalbar's eyes and makes a statement of disgust for herself.

Jolee laughs and Carth hears a 'Finally' whispered from Canderous.  Nobody else complains, not even Juhani the Jedi.

When they break apart, he still holds her close, taking in her proximity as a plant takes in the sun.  

"I never thought I'd love again."

"I never thought you would either."  Her smile brightens, and he laughs a bit at her never ending pool of sarcastic comments and sassiness.

"It's a good thing we're both wrong then."

"Huh, I usually hate being wrong."

He laughed again.  "I know that, beautiful."

"Mhm.  Come on, hairless Wookiee, we've got a galaxy to save."

The two strode up the ramp of their ship, hand in hand.  

 

5. _First Hope_

The first time he sees her after she defeats her former apprentice is like looking at a supernova.  She might not be shining, but she's definitely radiating power and chaos.  

For a moment, he's almost afraid of her.

But then he looks closer and sees the weariness in her eyes, how she's limping, and the blood staining her robes.  These little things remind him that's she is still vulnerable, that she is still human and not something more divine.

He rushes to her and scoops her up in his arms, worried about just how much blood there is.

"I'm fine, flyboy," She murmurs.

"I'm going to make sure you are."   _Forever_.  He doesn't add the last part of that statement.

"Mm."  He can feel her growing weaker and he picks up his pace, charging up the ramp of the _Hawk_ and carefully placing her on the bed in the tiny medbay.

Jolee and Bastila are there in a matter of seconds, and Carth can't help but stare at Bastila while Jolee works.

"I care for her as well, you know."  The brown haired woman spoke softly.

"Yeah."  Of course, who didn't care for Revan?  Looking back down at the slowly healing limp form on the bed, he finds himself doing something he hadn't done since Morgana had died in his arms.

He begins to believe in a future.


End file.
